Tag: Ragey McSwearington
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HURRAY, PLUTO IS FINALLY RETROGRADE AGAIN – HALLEFUCKINGLUJAH!
Listen here, you starry-eyed oxygen thieves, I have suffered. I have endured a winter so relentlessly suffocating, so cosmically constipated with Saturnian chores and Neptunian gaslighting that even my dreams came with unpaid overtime. But NOW—oh NOW—we are finally gifted with the universe’s one true mercy: PLUTO HAS GONE RETROGRADE. I swear to the gods…
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September 18th Ver.2
EDITORS NOTE: Ragey is clearly overworked trying to catch up with the 6 months of lost work over his stupid tit incident, and it seems he sent me two horoscopes for the same day, I am just rubbing it in his face in public that he fucked up. which version do you like best? Leave…
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September 18th ver.1
EDITORS NOTE: Ragey is clearly overworked trying to catch up with the 6 months of lost work over his stupid tit incident, and it seems he sent me two horoscopes for the same day, I am just rubbing it in his face in public that he fucked up. which version do you like best? Leave…
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Plutomania
Alrighty, gather ’round lil maggots, come on, sit down, drop your pretenses and lets get this over with. Since most of you reading these words will have a tough time when Pluto enters Aquarius I might as well put on a fake smile and be pleasant. Yeah, it is that bad. I’m reminded of Churchill…
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Glorious Universe, THANK YOU!!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, I’m back! I’m fucking back! Fuck me, that was a close call. I almost lost all joy in life. I went around, in like a daze, for two days–like a zombie. Fuck, it was weird. But I’m back baby, with a vengeance, smile and shut the fuck up message to you,…
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July 28th, and until further notice.
Gather around kids. Relax, it is safe, I know I appear somewhat calm, but it is me, same ole Ragey, just a weekend smarter, and I decided to stop caring about you guys. You do fine, it’s me who needs fucking help. And you guys helped me, thank you. Yea, I see your sea full…
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July 27th
SIGHS There, you too, come on, sigh with me, a big one. Inhale deeply, almost burst your lungs and let it out, in a slow angry hiss SIIIIIGHS. After doing that, I struggle to see what else can be done to improve this day. The best horoscope for today is probably just a long indignant…
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July 26th
Here we are again. GRRRRrrrrreaaat. As you all read yesterday, the publishing server went down. I did some checking; long story short, it seems the one to blame has been very, VERY overworked and simply, by some sort of error far beyond their reach, did not open their mail one day, in let’s say, oh,…
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July 25th
For fuck’s sake, El Jefe the redeemer Christ, what a load of bollocks. I came here to check tomorrow’s horoscopes before bed, right? Coz, spoiler alert, I write these things months, even years in advance. I get the daily flavor from my life semi-annually – you know, from my repertoire of living life. This style…
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July 24th
Oh, for the love of the cosmos, it’s Wednesday, July 24, 2024, and once again, I’m here to unravel the celestial insanity for you poor souls. I’m running on fumes, my coffee’s cold, and I’ve been staring at the star charts so long I’m seeing constellations in my sleep. But hey, let’s dive into today’s…