Alright folks, it’s Ragey McSwearington, your lovably enraged stargazer here, getting you all the dirty details for this infernal day of 23rd July 2023. Buckle up, ’cause the celestial bodies are getting all kinds of feisty today, and it ain’t all sunflowers and daisies.
Remember that shitshow of a day when your coffee machine broke, your ex texted you out of nowhere, and your cat decided that your favorite couch was the perfect scratching post? Yeah, that’s the kind of day we’ve got lined up, thanks to the Moon and Neptune getting their wires crossed. It’s like trying to have a quiet conversation while a metal band is playing next door. Expect some emotional turbulence and tell your feelings to buckle the hell up.
Sun’s chatting it up with Neptune in the cosmic club, and that’s kind of like when you’re at a party, and you run into that one chill dude who’s always got the best stories. Things might not be all bad – there’s potential for some inspiring moments to shine through. Could be a new idea, a sudden insight, or you might just find the perfect comeback for your snarky co-worker – on the fucking spot!
Mercury and Venus are hanging out, which sounds all nice and lovey-dovey, but it’s more like they’re on a tandem bike that’s stuck in high gear. Communication in relationships might get a bit strained. You might think you’re being clear as a damn bell, but your words are coming out like some godforsaken riddle from a fortune cookie. Double-check your texts before you hit send, and maybe skip the sarcasm today.
Mars and Jupiter are in cahoots, which is like inviting a rockstar and a philosopher to the same party. You’re going to want to go after what you want, and you’re going to want it BIG. As in, ordering a party-sized pizza for yourself kind of big. Try not to bite off more than you can chew, or you’ll be dealing with some major cosmic indigestion.
Saturn, the celestial party-pooper, is throwing shade at Venus and Mars. This is like when you’re about to take the last slice of pizza, and someone reminds you of your diet. You might feel restricted in expressing love and asserting yourself. It’s like wearing a straightjacket in a mosh pit.
Pluto and the Sun are at odds, much like a punk rocker at a country music festival. You might feel a strong urge for transformation, but it’s not exactly a smooth journey. It’s like trying to navigate through a forest with a map that’s been drawn by a toddler. Be ready to face some resistance and don’t be surprised if you have to put your plans through the shredder and start from scratch.
In short, it’s a day of emotional roller coasters, strained communications, big ambitions, restrictions, and a shit-ton of transformation. It’s like the universe decided to run a reality TV show and we’re all the unwilling participants. So, get out there and give ’em hell! And remember, it’s all just a wild cosmic ride. Stay fierce and unapologetic. This is Ragey McSwearington, signing off.