Alright, folks. It’s Ragey McSwearington, your foul-mouthed astrological guru, back at it again with another spicy dose of astrological wisdom for this goddamn beautiful day of 19th July, 2023. Let’s cut the chit-chat and dive straight into the cosmic fuckery, shall we?

Starting off with the sun cozying up to Neptune like a drunk at the bar. We all know that when these two get together, things get dreamy, delusional, and a bit wonky. Today you’re likely to feel a sense of lofty ambition, a burning desire to do something grand. But be wary, lads and lasses, because these dreams can be as slippery as a greased-up weasel. If you go chasing after every half-baked idea that pops into your head, you’re going to end up disappointed, exhausted, and potentially hungover. Trust me on this one.

Now, speaking of disappointment, Jupiter is square with the Moon and Mercury. This is like having a conversation with a self-righteous prick who thinks they know everything. They’re probably full of shit, but you might still find yourself agreeing with them just to avoid a fight. Be careful not to fall for this trap. Stay true to your convictions and don’t let anyone sway you with their big, flashy words.

On the flip side, Mars opposing Saturn might make you feel like a dog chasing its tail. You’re all fired up, ready to get shit done, but every time you try to move forward, some bureaucratic bullshit or stubborn obstacle is in your way. It’s frustrating as hell, but remember: it’s just a test of your patience. Keep going and don’t let the bastards grind you down.

Here’s an interesting one: Uranus is having a nice little tête-à-tête with Pluto, forming a sexy little trine. This is like two anarchists planning a revolution at a punk rock concert. Expect the unexpected, embrace the chaos, and let your rebellious side show. But remember, revolution for the sake of revolution isn’t always a good thing. Don’t burn down the house just because you can’t find the remote.

Venus is acting like a diva, quincunx with Neptune and Pluto. This aspect has all the subtlety of a daytime soap opera, full of melodramatic lovers and plots that twist more than a pretzel. Keep an eye out for any romantic entanglements or potential emotional vampires. But hey, if you’re into that sort of thing, who am I to judge?

Finally, the nodal axis is squaring off against the Sun and Pluto. This can make you feel like you’re standing at a crossroads, a decision point, a “choose your own adventure” type of deal. You’ve got the power to shape your own destiny, but the choices aren’t always clear. Don’t rush, take your time, and consider all your options. You’re the captain of your own fucking ship, after all.

So there you have it, another spicy horoscope served up hot and fresh. Remember, my friends, the stars may guide us, but it’s up to us to steer the ship. Until next time, this is Ragey McSwearington, signing off.