Alright, you celestial cock-ups, listen up. It’s Ragey McSwearington, your unfriendly neighborhood astrologer, bringing you the uncensored rundown of the cosmic drama that’s unfolding this July 10th, 2023.

First off, the Sun and the Moon are squared off like a pair of drunk rugby players on a Saturday night. This ain’t about winning or losing, it’s about the goddamn scrum and how you handle the chaos. Be prepared for internal struggles between what you want and what you need. Can’t decide between that juicy burger and the sad salad for lunch? Good fucking luck.

Our dear Mercury is stirring the pot too. It’s square with the Moon and paralleling the Sun. This cocktail of celestial shit-show is like having a debate with your ex at a family dinner – complex and fraught with danger. Communicate clearly or risk getting your words twisted faster than a politician’s promise.

Over there, Venus is trying to play nice with Mars, but Uranus is throwing a wrench in the works. It’s like your best mate trying to wingman for you, but the bar’s local drunk keeps butting in. Expect challenges in love and relationships – and I ain’t just talking about your Tinder swipes. Be patient. Love’s a bitch, but she’s worth the wait.

Speaking of bitches, Saturn, the strict headmaster of the cosmos, is retrograde and having a face-off with Mars. Imagine a hardcore punk rocker (that’s Mars) in a battle of wills with a stuck-up principal (our buddy Saturn). Are you going to mosh your way through the crowd or sit this one out? It’s about balance, you knobheads. Don’t be too reckless, but don’t let life pass you by, either.

Neptune, that dreamy son-of-a-gun, is retrograde too, but it’s playing nice with Mercury and Pluto. This is like that weird dream where you’re having a picnic with your kindergarten teacher and a T-Rex. Strange, but not entirely unpleasant. Expect some crazy ideas to bubble up from your subconscious. They might seem batshit crazy, but there might be some genius in there too.

Finally, Jupiter is almost like that bloke at the pub who just nods along to your rant, not really adding much but not causing a fuss either. It’s in the middle of the action, not really forming any strong aspects. It’s a bit of a breather, and Lord knows we need it with all the other cosmic drama.

So, there you have it, you celestial screw-ups. July 10th, 2023 is set to be one hell of a cosmic rollercoaster. Remember to wear your seatbelts, keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times, and enjoy the fucking ride. Ragey McSwearington, signing off.