Ragey McSwearington here, giving you the celestial lowdown for the 21st of May, a day when the Sun’s strutting its stuff into Gemini. Here’s what the flaming balls of gas and rock up in the sky have in store for you.

Look, the Sun’s all cozy in Gemini now, but it’s squaring off with Saturn, the cosmic killjoy. Typical Sunday, right? Just when you’re ready to kick back and relax, life throws you a curveball. Maybe it’s the boss calling you in to work, or the in-laws announcing an unexpected visit. The universe is just testing your patience, so don’t let it get to you.

Mercury, the chatterbox of the cosmos, is cozying up to Jupiter, the planet of excess. This means your mouth might be running faster than your brain. In other words, you could be spouting off all kinds of nonsense without even realizing it. This might not be the best day to negotiate a raise or try to explain the offside rule to your clueless mate.

Speaking of excess, Mars, the red hot chili pepper of the galaxy, is squaring off against Jupiter, and opposing Pluto, the lord of the underworld who’s currently stuck in reverse. Talk about a celestial shitshow. This could manifest as a colossal hangover from Saturday night’s shenanigans, or a heated argument about who used the last of the milk. Just remember to breathe, count to ten, and for the love of all that’s holy, replace the bloody milk.

Venus, the cosmic cupcake, is squaring off against Chiron, the wounded healer. This could stir up some old relationship wounds. Maybe you’ll run into your ex at the supermarket, or perhaps you’ll find an old love letter that brings back a flood of memories. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Just don’t text your ex. I repeat, DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX.

With Neptune making sweet, sweet angles to the Sun and Mars, your dreams could be more vivid than usual. Or maybe you’ll just feel more inclined to daydream, picturing yourself on a beach somewhere, sipping a mojito, far away from the mundane realities of life. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of escapism. Just don’t forget to come back to reality eventually.

In conclusion, this Sunday is shaping up to be a bit of a rollercoaster, with some celestial heavyweights stirring the pot. Try to keep your cool, speak your truth (but think before you speak), and let yourself dream a little. And for fuck’s sake, replace the milk.

This has been Ragey McSwearington, signing off. Over and out.