SIGHS There, you too, come on, sigh with me, a big one. Inhale deeply, almost burst your lungs and let it out, in a slow angry hiss SIIIIIGHS. After doing that, I struggle to see what else can be done to improve this day. The best horoscope for today is probably just a long indignant sigh, a slow disapproving shake of the head. To make it a premium one, if you can pay to be stupid(er), maybe throw in some disapproving tut’s and tsk’s directly at whoever came up with this whole planets in the sky having any bearing on what the fuck kind of dumb I find myself doing today. Yes, the “creator”. Join in, with me, and let’s give him (yes, him, deal with it, I am apolitical, and never correct) a unison “FUCK YOU” today. It’s enough already. It ends today. Not one inch further.

What you say? Ragey, you’re being bitchy, surely it’s not so bad today, you just got a thing for being negative. First of all, don’t talk back to me. No one asked for your opinion, and especially not me. Do you see any comment field on this blog? No? Do you know why? I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT YOU THINK. This is a one-way train where I tell you to sit down and shut the fuck up until we’re outta the woods. And no, you have nothing to contribute. I got enough whiny maggots infesting my time already. And yeah, welcome to the never-ending forest of misery, get comfy, it likes company, and we will be here for a while. Is there any service on the train, you ask? Yes, every hour, on the hour you will be served a bitter pill and a half-empty glass of vitriol. You fill in the rest.

Do you take this deal? Any sane person would not. Somehow it seems we all missed the memo, us who find ourselves lucky enough to be incarnated on this idiot-infested turd hurling through space orbiting a sun in Leo on this god-awful day, the 27th in July, anno domini dumbibilis 2024. We are stupid, and we have to deal with it. We didn’t heed the warning signs. We clicked accept to the TOS, we didn’t read the fine print, and we certainly didn’t read the reviews, and if we did read them, we didn’t read them critically enough. We fooled ourselves. No doubt about it. Maybe a few unlucky ones were shanghaied, some trolled, it happens. It’s not a perfect system, this planet I mean. It’s like a bad experiment gone wrong, then abandoned to mother nature. And after what seems like an ungodly long time, humanity sprang forth from one of the abandoned outhouses of the old plantation.

And now monkeys own this place, and we are relegated to being backseat drivers and armchair generals. I mean it, it is enough. I don’t wanna take it anymore. Just leave me alone. And no, I’m not talking to you, my lovely masochists, you’re alright. At least for now. I am, of course, talking about the big bad wolf, or the universe as idiots call him. Today, we get to personally ride with the clown ensemble via the moon on its final vestiges in Pisces for this month. Good riddance. The last few days we’ve felt all there is to feel, and we’re just sick of it. Every tiny detail of our own inner landscape potentially up for grabs, of course, reflected through the outer world. Have you seen the news this week? Don’t. Don’t be that stupid. Don’t be the bottom 1%. Stop it. The vote is in November; you may die before that and get out of this Faustian deal. Fingers crossed. Put on a happy hat, fake it, whatever you do, don’t engage with the liquid fecal matter of the News. Wait until things solidify, it’s no fun when every fart is wet. Those who know, know, and the rest, fuck, you’re lucky, special fuck you from me.

Mull today, for tomorrow, Sunday, shall be different, trust me. Things are at their most inconvenient today, especially if we take the last 7 days into consideration. But there are beginning shimmers of light in the far, far end of the tunnel. We don’t know what this light is, artificial or daylight, but I think we can all agree, at this stage, any light is better than no light. So keep going forward, like a moth to the 30w bulb your grandparents have killed insects with for the last 30 years, insisting that the porch needs to be lit at night when no one’s around. Selfish boomers, they ruined our world, and now they are skipping out, leaving us to clean up their stupid ways. Uranus in Taurus might help us deal with this in weird new ways, like going nuclear on those old fools and taking away their keys, metaphorically speaking. It’s time to look for the adult in the room and ask, “Is this guy really the best one to rule me?” Most likely they will say yes, you don’t understand squat because you’re not an adult. Now go out and play. Which is fair. You do not know what goes on behind the scenes.

How do you know that, Ragey? First of all, brave of you to open your mouth, it’s your lucky day, punk. Don’t do that again. It is fair because it is what it is, it was how it was, and now it is this. It’s a mental trick, you morons. If you can’t do something about it, what the fuck good does it do you to spend the precious little brain resources you have on shit you can’t do anything about? Laissez-faire. Pluto is doing his thing, don’t worry about it, the truth will come out. All you have to do is put some trust in this shit-throwing machine. The storyline is rewinding. On October 11 this year, Pluto will resume his forward motion, and we will get to see new power struggles and revelations about how things have been and how they need to change to benefit everyone. Not just astrologers and others who see the hidden hand.

It’s a good time to practice dreaming because most of what you’ll dream will be wrong. If you know it won’t count, why not go big? Just don’t believe any of it. It’s just blue gas all day from Neptune, nothing solid, and he’s going backward. Maybe he’s even telling you to go back into that old pile of broken dreams and re-check them. Perhaps you have missed a nugget. Dust it off, suckle on it for a few days, maybe, maybe not. At any rate, we’re all stuck in the mud; you choose if you eat mud or look at the stars. As long as Saturn is retro in Pisces, I think we all feel intuitively that something is wrong. We haven’t got the faintest clue what, but there is something, and we wish we had some adult in the room we could come to for comfort. Well, do I really have to say anything? You know the drill: grow the fuck up yourself and comfort those around you. Stop looking. You’re the adult if you find yourself doom scrolling my shit. As much as it pains me to say this, YOU, yes you, are the best we got. Man up, take responsibility, and help out for crying out loud.

Jupiter passes 13°37′ Gemini today, which I find highly comforting. It makes me think of Hunter S. Thompson. He said, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” If I were to strip down “everything,” condense and boil off all excessive material, his saying perfectly encapsulates the period we’re in now. And more importantly, who will thrive? The professionals. The Weird Army. Your Facebook feed’s top memelord. The ones who laughed at it all. It’s bad when I put on comedians like Joe Rogan to stay up to date. It’s just sick. Weirdos, it’s time to unite. Now, go! Go somewhere else. Choo choo, get off my lawn and out of my face. Same space, roughly same time, you and me, tomorrow. Are you coming?