Category: Horoscopes
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November 10th
Alright, listen up, folks! Here’s your goddamn horoscope for the 10th of November, 2023, and you better sit tight because the stars are stirring up a hell of a brew today. First off, the Moon’s in Libra, playing tug-of-war with Chiron in Aries. That’s like trying to negotiate peace with a rabid dog. Expect emotional…
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July 31st
Alright, ya absolute muppets. It’s your least favorite astrologer, Ragey McSwearington, back at it again with the celestial bullshit on this absolutely shitty day, the 31st of July, 2023. Now, sit the hell down and strap in ’cause I’ve got some grade-A cosmic drivel to shove down your throats. Let’s start with the goddamn Sun.…
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July 30th
Hey fuckers, it’s your perpetually pissed-off prophet, Ragey McSwearington. I’m not here to spoon-feed you bullshit affirmations, I’m here to read the fucking stars and tell it how it is. Buckle the fuck up, because the celestial skies are a hot fucking mess today, and we’re all in for one hell of a cosmic ride.…
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July 29th
Alright, you celestial spectators, let’s cut the crap and get straight to it, shall we? This is Ragey McSwearington, your favorite goddamn astrologer. Let’s dive right into this cosmic shitshow that’s the celestial arrangement for the 29th of July, 2023. So, our proud-as-a-peacock Sun is hanging out in Leo, acting like it owns the goddamn…
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July 28th
Alright, ya bunch of cosmic grease monkeys, it’s Ragey McSwearington here, and the astrology for this infernal 28th of July, 2023, is about as subtle as a lead pipe to the face. I ain’t gonna sweeten the cosmic sour grape. It’s pretty clear the universe has lost its damn marbles, throwing us a twisted cosmic…
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July 27th
Alright, listen up you insufferable pack of cosmic misfits. The heavens are screaming bloody murder today and you’re all too damned busy with your “likes” and “shares” to pay any goddamn attention. So here I am, Ragey McSwearington, pissed off as always and armed with the astrological equivalent of a pair of brass knuckles. You…
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July 26th
Ah, bloody hell, here we go. Today is the 26th of July, 2023, and the stars are having a proper hissy fit, I tell ya. Firstly, that fickle little Moon is giving us a wink with Mars, trying to set the stage for some sort of action. So, get off your lazy arses and make…
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July 23rd
Alright folks, it’s Ragey McSwearington, your lovably enraged stargazer here, getting you all the dirty details for this infernal day of 23rd July 2023. Buckle up, ’cause the celestial bodies are getting all kinds of feisty today, and it ain’t all sunflowers and daisies. Remember that shitshow of a day when your coffee machine broke,…
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July 22nd
Alright, you celestial turds, brace yourselves. It’s your not-so-friendly, venom-spitting astrologer Ragey McSwearington, and I’m back to ruin your day with some star-dusted truths. It’s July 22nd, 2023, and I’m not holding anything back. Ready? No? Good. The Sun is squaring off with the North Node and opposing Pluto, which means some of you are…
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July 21st
Alright, gather ’round you cosmic voyeurs, it’s Ragey McSwearington here with your one of a kind, no BS, galaxy-driven tirade. Let’s slice open this celestial piñata and see what the universe has in store for us on this, the 21st day of July 2023.First things first, today’s sky is fucking packed with contradictions, making your…