Category: Daily
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September 18th Ver.2
EDITORS NOTE: Ragey is clearly overworked trying to catch up with the 6 months of lost work over his stupid tit incident, and it seems he sent me two horoscopes for the same day, I am just rubbing it in his face in public that he fucked up. which version do you like best? Leave…
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September 18th ver.1
EDITORS NOTE: Ragey is clearly overworked trying to catch up with the 6 months of lost work over his stupid tit incident, and it seems he sent me two horoscopes for the same day, I am just rubbing it in his face in public that he fucked up. which version do you like best? Leave…
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July 28th, and until further notice.
Gather around kids. Relax, it is safe, I know I appear somewhat calm, but it is me, same ole Ragey, just a weekend smarter, and I decided to stop caring about you guys. You do fine, it’s me who needs fucking help. And you guys helped me, thank you. Yea, I see your sea full…
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July 27th
SIGHS There, you too, come on, sigh with me, a big one. Inhale deeply, almost burst your lungs and let it out, in a slow angry hiss SIIIIIGHS. After doing that, I struggle to see what else can be done to improve this day. The best horoscope for today is probably just a long indignant…
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July 26th
Here we are again. GRRRRrrrrreaaat. As you all read yesterday, the publishing server went down. I did some checking; long story short, it seems the one to blame has been very, VERY overworked and simply, by some sort of error far beyond their reach, did not open their mail one day, in let’s say, oh,…
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July 25th
For fuck’s sake, El Jefe the redeemer Christ, what a load of bollocks. I came here to check tomorrow’s horoscopes before bed, right? Coz, spoiler alert, I write these things months, even years in advance. I get the daily flavor from my life semi-annually – you know, from my repertoire of living life. This style…
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July 24th
Oh, for the love of the cosmos, it’s Wednesday, July 24, 2024, and once again, I’m here to unravel the celestial insanity for you poor souls. I’m running on fumes, my coffee’s cold, and I’ve been staring at the star charts so long I’m seeing constellations in my sleep. But hey, let’s dive into today’s…
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July 23rd
Oh, for the love of all things celestial, it’s another sleep-deprived night in my chaotic world. I’m pounding out this horoscope at 3 AM because, of course, the universe has decided to keep me awake with its endless parade of cosmic shenanigans. My eyes are burning from staring at the screen, my coffee’s gone cold,…
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July 22nd
Oh, fuck me sideways! It’s Monday, July 22, 2024, and here I am, sacrificing my sanity to deliver your daily dose of cosmic chaos. Why? Because apparently, the universe thinks it’s hilarious to see me suffer. Just when I thought I could get a moment of peace, the stars decided to align in the most…
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July 21st
Oh, sweet celestial calamity! It’s Friday night in my world, but let’s pretend it’s Sunday, July 21st for this horoscope nonsense. My evening was rudely interrupted by my oven deciding it wanted to be a dragon, spewing flames and smoke. Now, instead of enjoying a quiet night, I’m scraping burnt lasagna off my ceiling and…