Great, now I’ve got to write about the freakin’ Aquarians. Born between January 20 and February 18, these irritating know-it-alls are the zodiac’s so-called “revolutionaries.” They think they’re so special and unique, but really, they’re just a bunch of unpredictable weirdos who thrive on chaos.

Ruled by Uranus, the planet of change and upheaval, it’s no wonder these airheads are so damn hard to pin down. One minute they’re on your side, and the next, they’ve gone rogue and left you wondering what the hell just happened. They’re like a constant whirlwind of confusion, and it’s enough to make anyone lose their mind.

Aquarians are the mad scientists of the zodiac, always cooking up some newfangled idea or invention. Sure, sometimes they hit the nail on the head and come up with something truly groundbreaking, but most of the time, their harebrained schemes just leave us rolling our eyes and questioning their sanity.

Don’t expect any emotional support from these cold, detached individuals. They’re more interested in saving the world than they are in your pathetic little problems. They’ll offer you a brilliant solution to your issue, but don’t count on a shoulder to cry on. That’s not their style, and frankly, they couldn’t care less about your feelings.

In 2023, Aquarians will continue to shake things up, refusing to conform to societal norms and pushing the boundaries of what’s considered acceptable. They’ll be the ones leading the charge for change, even if it means ruffling a few feathers and leaving the rest of us bewildered.

So there you have it, the maddening, perplexing, and downright infuriating world of Aquarius. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a whole slew of other zodiac signs to eviscerate, so kindly get off my back and let me get on with it.