Listen up, you pitiful peasants, because it’s time to pay tribute to the greatest f*cking sign in the zodiac: Leo. Born between July 23 and August 22, these royal beasts are impossible to ignore, and you’ll either be kissing their feet or cursing their very existence.

Ruled by the Sun, Leos are the zodiac’s natural-born leaders, and they know it. They’re not going to waste time with false humility or modesty – they know they’re the sh*t, and they won’t let you forget it. They’ve got an ego the size of Jupiter, but let’s face it, they’ve got the charisma and talent to back it up. So stop whining and bask in their glorious presence.

Leos are the zodiac’s ultimate showstoppers. They know how to make an entrance, and they’ll command your attention with their magnetic personalities and undeniable confidence. Love them or hate them, you can’t help but be drawn to them. They’re the life of the party, the center of attention, and the ones you’ll be talking about long after they’ve left the room.

But don’t think for a second that they’re all style and no substance. Leos are fiercely loyal, and they’ll protect their pride with the ferocity of a lion. They’re also incredibly generous, showering those they care about with love and affection (and probably some expensive gifts, too). So if you’re lucky enough to be in a Leo’s inner circle, you better appreciate the privilege, you ungrateful twerp.

Of course, Leos are also notorious for their stubbornness and vanity. They won’t back down from a fight, and they won’t admit when they’re wrong. But you know what? That’s what makes them so f*cking endearing. They’re not here to play by your rules or cater to your delicate sensibilities. They’re here to shine like the goddamn supernovas they are.

In 2023, Leos will continue to dominate, whether you like it or not. They’ll take charge, make bold moves, and leave a trail of broken hearts and awestruck admirers in their wake. So sit back, hold onto your hats, and try not to get burned by the scorching radiance of the zodiac’s reigning monarchs.

Now, don’t bother me with your pathetic questions, I’ve got more signs to rip apart for your amusement.